Cancer, like any illness, is as much a sign from your emotional mind as it is from your physical body that something is seriously out of balance.
Today I would like to share with you one of my healing techniques from my holistic toolbox that I used in my integrative approach to my health.
When I was first diagnosed with breast cancer in 2009, after surfacing from the initial raw, almost paralyzing shock, I knew instinctively that, besides making decisions what to do with the physical tumor, I had to confront an emotional shadow that had been accompanying me for many years.
It was time.
Time to stop being in denial that I had some serious emotional baggage associated with the relationship between my mother – whom I loved very much – and me.
Time to confront it, without confronting her as the nature of our conflict made any true reconciliation impossible.
I needed to find a different peace that did not involve us “making up”, us both accepting and respecting each other’s viewpoints on an equal standing, with lots of hugs and kisses and forgiving.
That was not going to happen. And that needed to be OK with me.
To the degree that her simply being who she was, at times, would not actually cause that physical pain anymore that felt as if my heart chakra was on fire.
So I allowed myself to open the door to this emotional abyss and plunged myself into releasing and setting myself free. It was an intense but exhilaratingly liberating process!
We can all do this, and we need to, as all of us have these emotional monsters lurking in our conscious as well as subconscious levels of awareness.
There are many different emotional healing modalities available, and each of us resonates with something different.
In this instance, hypnotherapy worked best for me, as it allowed me to access deep levels of subconscious emotional trauma that needed to be released.
In case you are wondering, you are not actually hypnotized to the degree where you have no clue what you are doing. In fact, you are conscious all the time during these sessions, just deeply and utterly relaxed. You recall everything.
And you do emerge changed.
So when I was approached to audition to become a contributing author in 2016 for the online SYBIL MAGAZINE for the Soul and Spirit of Woman, I chose to write my very first poem. I would like to share it with you here.
LETTING GO
So this is it!
Here you are prepped for my own personal viewing.
Just you and me Mom.
One more time.
Despite the suffering edged on your face, you look incredibly peaceful, even with a tightly shut mouth that appears forced.
I wasn’t in time, had to wait for the next flight. An ocean divided us, yet it also gave me space over the years to gain perspective. And mend what needed to be healed.
I followed my instinct during the past sleepless nights, just sat and meditated. Focused on you, on us, and felt the overwhelming urge to give you permission to let go, to not wait for me.
What gets me is seeing you here, silent and waxy pale, and knowing this is the final time we meet like this.
I clearly sense I am standing in front of the shell of your physical self. Of the embodiment you chose in this lifetime. While I am still in mine. We are a lot more than an ocean apart now, and yet not.
You are released, free at last, and the tears that well up and start pouring out are my relief at seeing this.
You are finally at peace, and we can connect on a different plane, because I became aware how, without the shackles of the ego, the baggage of emotional wounds. I can finally tell you what you were just not ready to hear from me, face to face.
How many times have we been at this threshold before, sometimes in roles reversed, yet today is different.
No resentment. No hurt anymore. I understand. I get it this time.
Just pure love and forgiveness now. And ultimate peace.
I touch your cold body, and feel more connected to you than ever before.
